SweetPoison Abstract

I figured perhaps my hectic schedule could be the cause of these headaches, and I vowed to get better control over the demands of my life.  I had to blame something for these recurring headaches.  Too little rest.  Three toddlers pulling on me all day long.  A husband who worked too much.  Whatever.

However, no matter how I rearranged the demands of my life in the next few months, nothing helped.  I was experiencing at least one bad migraine every day.  How could I cope with the boys' needs when I could barely stand up because of the pain?

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Before those first couple of headaches, I never had a problem sleeping.  But I was having trouble getting any rest now.  And stress.  Stress had always pushed me into action instead of getting me down.  I was always happy-go-lucky, a person full of energy, always on the go.  I loved doing things with my three boys.  I enjoyed gardening, taking the children on walks, playing with the dog.  I really liked my life.  That was, until now.  I was changing, both physically and emotionally, and my life was changing.  The changes were intensifying, too, and not for the better.

I was losing control of myself day by day.  I started having problems with the kids and with my marriage. Handling the boys became less rewarding.  When they bickered and fought over toys or were messy, I used to see the humor in it.  Now I yelled.  When they dropped food on the floor, I cried.

I could not seem to keep the house straightened or food prepared.  I continuously asked my husband to spend more time at home.  "You're never around to help," I protested. "I need more support with the boys.  I'm so tired.“

"Okay, Baby," he replied blankly, but his attention was on the ten o'clock news.

I had no energy.  Because I couldn't get a good night's sleep, I was worn out during the day.  If the boys didn't take a nap, I got very cross.  "Go to sleep!" I screamed at them more than once.  "Give mommy a break.  I'm worn out.  I'm so tired."  When they finally slept, I'd fall into my own bed for any rest I could steal. Why was I acting like this?  My husband worked hard as a self-employed contractor.  I knew this.  So why was his routine suddenly bothering me?

"My schedule never bothered you before," he said. "It does now!" I snapped back.

Something was happening to me.  I didn't know why I was changing, but something mysterious was taking control of my life.



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