I figured perhaps my hectic schedule
could be the cause of these headaches, and I vowed
to get better control over the demands of my life.
I had to blame something for these recurring
headaches. Too little rest. Three
toddlers pulling on me all day long. A husband
who worked too much. Whatever.
However, no matter how I rearranged
the demands of my life in the next few months,
nothing helped. I was experiencing at least
one bad migraine every day. How could I
cope with the boys' needs when I could barely
stand up because of the pain?
Before those first couple of headaches, I never had
a problem sleeping. But I was having trouble getting
any rest now. And stress. Stress had always
pushed me into action instead of getting me down. I
was always happy-go-lucky, a person full of energy,
always on the go. I loved doing things with my
three boys. I enjoyed gardening, taking the children
on walks, playing with the dog. I really liked
my life. That was, until now. I was changing,
both physically and emotionally, and my life was changing.
The changes were intensifying, too, and not for
I was losing control of myself day by day. I
started having problems with the kids and with my marriage.
Handling the boys became less rewarding. When
they bickered and fought over toys or were messy, I
used to see the humor in it. Now I yelled. When
they dropped food on the floor, I cried.
I could not seem to keep the house straightened or
food prepared. I continuously asked my husband
to spend more time at home. "You're never
around to help," I protested. "I need more
support with the boys. I'm so tired.
"Okay, Baby," he replied blankly, but his
attention was on the ten o'clock news.
I had no energy. Because I couldn't get a good
night's sleep, I was worn out during the day. If
the boys didn't take a nap, I got very cross. "Go
to sleep!" I screamed at them more than once. "Give
mommy a break. I'm worn out. I'm so tired."
When they finally slept, I'd fall into my own
bed for any rest I could steal.Why was I acting like
this? My husband worked hard as a self-employed
contractor. I knew this. So why was his
routine suddenly bothering me?
"My schedule never bothered you before,"
he said."It does now!" I snapped back.
Something was happening to me. I didn't know
why I was changing, but something mysterious was taking
control of my life.